Spring Movie Guide 2023

I’m here to bring you the movies of the next three months. Some I’ll see opening weekend, some I might never get around to. But that’s me, I’m just here to tell you the biggest movies of each weekend, so you can know what to look forward to.

March 24

John Wick: Chapter 4

John Wick uncovers a path to defeating The High Table. But before he can earn his freedom, Wick must face off against a new enemy with powerful alliances across the globe and forces that turn old friends into foes.

I recently binged the trilogy to catch up, and while the concept is fun, the last movie was practically plotless. I hope this is the last, and they wrap it up. RIP Lance Reddick.

March 31

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers embark on an epic quest to retrieve a lost relic, but things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.

I saw the early release, and it’s Guardians of the Galaxy set in Faerun. It’s a good time, and I’ll probably go back to theaters to see it again.

Tetris

The story of how one of the world’s most popular video games found its way to players around the globe. Businessman Henk Rogers and Tetris inventor Alexey Pajitnov join forces in the USSR, risking it all to bring Tetris to the masses.

Taron Egerton does the weirdest projects and I respect him for it.

April 7

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

The story of The Super Mario Bros. on their journey through the Mushroom Kingdom

I was skeptical at first, but I can’t lie, this looks dope.

April 14

Renfield

Dracula’s henchman and inmate at the lunatic asylum.

I’m sorry, did I say Taron Egerton does the weirdest projects? I must have been mistaken.

April 21

Evil Dead Rise

A twisted tale of two estranged sisters whose reunion is cut short by the rise of flesh-possessing demons, thrusting them into a primal battle for survival as they face the most nightmarish version of family imaginable.

This is what you put out on my birthday? You know I hate scary movies!

April 28

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

When her family moves from the city to the suburbs, 11-year-old Margaret navigates new friends, feelings, and the beginning of adolescence.

Literally the only thing I know about this story is that Deadpool references it twice.

May 5

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3

Still reeling from the loss of Gamora, Peter Quill rallies his team to defend the universe and one of their own – a mission that could mean the end of the Guardians if not successful.

I still stand that the second Guardians is one of the worst MCU movies because they could never just let anything be sincere for a second. If they can move past that, then I’ll be happy.

May 12

Knights of the Zodiac

When a goddess of war reincarnates in the body of a young girl, street orphan Seiya discovers that he is destined to protect her and save the world. But only if he can face his own past and become a Knight of the Zodiac.

Live action ’80s anime/manga. There’s also a Netflix original series based on the same property.

May 19

Fast X

Dom Toretto and his family are targeted by the vengeful son of drug kingpin Hernan Reyes.

Alternate title (from The Weekly Planet Podcast) Fast Ten: Your Seatbelts

May 26

The Little Mermaid

A young mermaid makes a deal with a sea witch to trade her beautiful voice for human legs so she can discover the world above water and impress a prince.

You are allowed to not be interested in this movie. But if you are upset about her skin color, then go ahead and close this article for me. We don’t want you here.

June 2

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Miles Morales catapults across the Multiverse, where he encounters a team of Spider-People charged with protecting its very existence. When the heroes clash on how to handle a new threat, Miles must redefine what it means to be a hero.

The first is the best Spider-Man movie ever made, so I’ll be there Day 1 for this movie.

June 9

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Plot unknown. Reportedly based on the ‘Transformers’ spinoff ‘Beast Wars’ which feature robots that transform into robotic animals.

June 16

The Flash

Barry Allen uses his super speed to change the past, but his attempt to save his family creates a world without super heroes, forcing him to race for his life in order to save the future.

They cancel Batgirl for the tax writeoff, but they won’t cancel this movie, despite having been announced nine years ago, and Ezra Miller’s near constant questionable decisions.

Elemental

Follows Ember and Wade, in a city where fire-, water-, land- and air-residents live together.

Zootopia + Sharkboy and Lavagirl

What movie are you most excited for? Let me know in the comments below!

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