Welcome to the 3rd, and I hope final, installment of “Non-Magic Casting Classes for 5e.” Previously I discussed Rangers that aren’t magic, they just are good at their jobs, and Clerics that aren’t magic, they pray to their God and their God is magic. Now let’s talk about Bards that aren’t magic, they are just inspiring musicians/orators, who give you goosebumps and motivation.
Bards are people who can compel you with their words, and their art. Humans have believed in the power of music and speeches for thousands of years. The idea of music itself being magic is incredibly ancient, and we have always included music in war.
In the American Revolutionary War, there were drummer boys…
During the Crusades, the Muslim, or Saracen, armies were known to have music playing via kettledrums, which “so disconcerted the Christians [Crusaders] that they were compelled to cover the eyes and stop the ears of their horses.”
In Ancient Rome there were signifiers, who weren’t musical per se, but were on the battlefield with the sole role to unify and encourage the soldiers.
I love the D&D culture as much as the next guy, but the idea that Bards use magic to get laid (looking at you Scanlan) is such an internal reference, that it begins to lose the truth of the archetype. So if you want to play a Bard that isn’t magical, here are the Spells you can take, and how to flavor them as just you being good at your job, which is to inspire your allies, and dishearten your enemies.
Before every spell, I’ll put () with the level of the spell, for easy tracking. If you don’t see a spell below, that’s because I could not find a reasonable way for you to accomplish the task narratively without the use of magic.
Helping Spells
Remember, Hit Points aren’t just how many punches you’ve taken, it’s how close you are to being knocked out. A good pep talk can keep you going longer in a fight, and a good insult can make you lose focus. These are Hit Points just as much as a dagger is.
- (1) Cure Wounds
- (1) Healing Word
- (1) Heroism
- (2) Enhance Ability
- (2) Lesser Restoration
- (5) Greater Restoration
- (5) Mass Cure Wounds
- (7) Regenerate. You may have to remove the “grow back body parts” part.
- (9) Power Word Heal
Hurting Spells
If you can encourage your friends, you can discourage your foes. Make them lose sight of the fight, lose faith in their ability to win, and they will be closer to either fleeing, or being distracted for your team to make that killing blow.
- (0) Vicious Mockery
- (1) Bane
- (1) Dissonant Whispers
- (3) Bestow Curse
- (8) Feeblemind
- (9) Power Word Kill
Charm Spells
In the balance of D&D, there are a certain amount of times you can essentially force someone to believe in/listen to you. This doesn’t have to be supernatural, it’s just to balance how much you can throw your charisma (little c) around. If you’re not sure if a spell is a charm, check if the spell description includes the line “A target automatically succeeds on this saving throw if it can’t be charmed.”
- (0) Friends
- (1) Animal Friendship
- (1) Charm Person
- (2) Calm Emotions
- (2) Crown of Madness
- (2) Enthrall
- (2) Hold Person
- (2) Suggestion
- (2) Zone of Truth
- (4) Compulsion
- (5) Dominate Person
- (5) Geas
- (5) Hold Monster
- (5) Modify Memory
- (6) Mass Suggestion
- (8) Dominate Monster
- (8) Power Word Stun.
Performance Spells
You make a living as a performer. These are skills you’ve gained from that life.
- (0) Prestidigitation
- (1) Comprehend Languages. You’ve know this language from songs and stories.
- (1) Disguise Self
- (1) Illusory Script
- (1) Sleep
- (1) Tasha’s Hideous Laughter
- (1) Thunderwave
- (2) Blindness/Deafness
- (2) Detect Thoughts
- (2) Shatter
- (3) Fear
- (3) Feign Death
- (3) Hypnotic Pattern
- (4) Confusion
- (5) Legend Lore
- (6) Eyebite
- (6) Otto’s Irresistible Dance
- (8) Glibness
Illusion Spells
A subsection of Performance spells. If you are in a Magitech setting, like Eberron, there are several spells that could be based on devices. Or if you wanted to play an Artificer, and your DM won’t let you, these can all just be magical trinkets.
- (0) Dancing Lights
- (0) Minor Illusion
- (1) Fairie Fire
- (1) Silent Image
- (2) Invisibility
- (3) Major Image
- (3) Stinking Cloud
- (4) Greater Invisibility
- (4) Hallucinatory Terrain
- (5) Mislead
- (5) Seeming
- (6) Programmed Illusion
- (7) Mirage Arcane
- (7) Project Image
Adventurer Spells
You make a living as an adventurer, these are skills you’ve gained from that life.
- (0) Blade Ward
- (0) True Strike
- (1) Longstrider
- (2) Cloud of Daggers. You just throw daggers.
Awareness Spells
A subsection of adventurer spells. There were a lot of spells that were about just being aware of your surroundings.
- (2) Locate Animals or Plants
- (2) See Invisibility
- (4) Freedom of Movement
- (6) Find the Path
- (6) True Seeing
- (9) Foresight
Other Spells
Lastly, we have spells that would fit in a grab bag of skills that could be flavored as non-magical.
- (0) Light. Is it not just lighting a lantern without tracking a lantern in your equipment list?
- (0) Mending. You can repair things.
- (0) Message. You and your allies can read each others lips and facial expressions.
- (1) Detect Magic. How well do you know of magic?
- (1) Identify. How well do you know of magic?
- (1) Animal Messenger. This is just having a Homing Pigeon/Messenger Raven.
- (8) Mind Blank. Steeling your mind against attacks.
So go forth, and make your non-magical bard! Go forth Jaskier/Dandelion! Go forth Edgin, the Chris Pine character from Honor Among Thieves! Go forth!
The Nerdd 
One comment